I know you have made a lot many new friends this year just like every year but more than before. Dealing with you is not the hardest part but explaining our relationship to people is. People either invalidate you by saying “it’s in my head” or invalidate me by saying that “I am too young to have you”.
But how do I tell them that I don’t invite you intentionally, you come uninvited when I am either trying to cope up with my sleep schedule or with the task schedule, as soon as you come suddenly everything starts feeling exhausting. I feel like screaming and running away but then I remember the voice of people saying “never leave anything in the middle” so I stay there and try to fix you up with some music or coffee. How do I tell them that I am not available even when I am free. Even when I have nothing to do I have got to sort the issues between us and everything else at that time is a distraction. How do I tell them you are not something unusual like the demons or witches we have heard in fairytales or watched in horror movies you are just like any other emotion that comes to me or us involuntarily. Maybe someday I can tell them and they can listen to me but not for sympathy. Maybe they realize that it is okay to address you and come in terms with themselves for knowing you because everyone has known you at some point or still knows you but fail to recognize you.
However, the relationship with you is a little different from what I have with other people in my life. When someone tells me they know you better than me instead of being jealous I feel empathized. When someone tells me they have been an old friend of yours but are no longer in touch instead of asking them to reconcile with you I hope you never cross paths with them again. Instead of praying that we stay together, I pray to grow apart from each other
Yours just another friend.