Whatever I am doing right now definitely was never a part of my plan of adulting. One thing i knew in class 6th was to do something in English. Although that something was quite vague because of not having proper knowledge or maybe resources to know what something can be. But by class 9th i knew that something would be me doing my bachelors and masters in English and then at some later point of my life settling down as an English professor. I wanted science so i took science in class 11th. Not knowing how 2 years of coaching would indirectly pressurize me into taking up engineering. The exact first thought i had when filling details for my JEE-MAINS form was ‘Is this what i am going to do now, BTECH not BA English Hons’. And the exact first thought i had while checking JEE-MAINS result was ‘God just make me pass this exam, I can’t waste the money my parents spent on my coaching’. Maybe the god heard me and i cleared the exam. Not that i got into any college with those just passing marks but it was a sign of relief.
Other entrance exams happened and then B.TECH in Electronics happened. I remember everyone telling me to not choose a BA because apparently there is no scope. And i did listen to them and now 4.5 years later I am an engineer. Even, I am working as software engineer now. (P.S We won’t speak about numbers here). And the irony is even today i dream of having a bachelors in English hons before i turn 35.
I don’t regret choosing b.tech because honestly what my college life has taught me I don’t think i would have learnt all of this otherwise. Neither do i regret taking up an IT job. Because the first year graduation sricharita knew one thing that electronics is not her thing and no matter what happens i had made a promise to myself that i would never be an electronic engineer. And i am glad that it worked out in a way that i don’t have to regret.
On some days however i do regret about not doing a proper research and not taking a stand for myself because somewhere in my parallel world i should be doing my masters in english right now. Not everything happened according to my class 6th future plan. But 2 things did happen. One was seeing my parents satisfied and other was me being satisfied. I won’t call my current job as my happy job. Because there is still a long way to go before i find my happy job. *Fingers crossed I really hope that happens* .
One thing i have realized is you can’t fulfill the promises you made to yourself as a child. But that doesn’t mean you have to do something you hate. You don’t have to be hard on yourself just because things didn’t go according to plan. You can always change the plan. And find happiness along that way.